just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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