she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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