thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
