I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
