What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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