ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
