In America we eat man semen.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
