just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
