She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
