i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
