your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
