Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
