Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
