So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
