i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How external is "for external use only"?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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