Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
