we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
