You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
