I'm lost and stupid without you.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
