So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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