gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
