Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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