so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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