Having a random hookup so left but love u
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
