How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
