What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize