she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
