yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
