There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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