community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize