there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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