Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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