I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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