I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
