Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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