The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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