So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish i was in the wii world.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
