Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
