Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
wanna go halves on a baby?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
