I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize