OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
