Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize