That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize