how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I love you.
Bad choice
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
