we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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