its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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