Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I skipped work to stalk him.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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