He uses pillows to masturbate.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
