Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
