That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
