Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
ok first of all what the fuck
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
