Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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