All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
