Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
