i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
