Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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