so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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