I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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