my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
