Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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